Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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