umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
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got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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