im having a threesome with these popsicles
He kissed a someone with a penis
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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