she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize