we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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