Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
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Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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