that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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