Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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