I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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