Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize