When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize