Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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