Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize