yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
time to smoke my breakfast
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize