Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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