why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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