Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize