dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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