Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize