BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
there is glitter all over my balls
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize