tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize