she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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