Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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