the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
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How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
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DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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