My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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