It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize