You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize