Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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