I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize