Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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