I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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