she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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