shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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