i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
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all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
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Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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