dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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