Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
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you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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