from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
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She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
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I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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