she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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