i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
two words: eviction party
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
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At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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