Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
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I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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