(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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