You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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