look no pants
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize