life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize