dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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