So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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