Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
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It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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