OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
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The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
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Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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