Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize