Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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