I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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